Saturday, 20 September 2014
Everybody knows one, maybe a handful if you’re unlucky: boring people seem to be omnipresent, and while they’re certainly not harmful, they can be dull, dreary, and not very good company in any circumstance. Is it the fact that they seem to be self-involved and self-directed? Is it that boring people never seem to want to try anything new, even if it’s just a song or a film or somewhere different for lunch? Or is it that boring people never seem to be good at telling a story?
Whatever it is, here’s a top-ten guide to what the extremely boring people of the world always seem to do. Take it as a cautionary tale to avoid doing the same.
1. They always talk about themselves – and only themselves
Boring people always seem to find themselves the most interesting point of conversation. They never think about what might be interesting to other people, or about the issues or viewpoints of the rest of the world. Boring people just can’t get beyond the viewpoint that if it doesn’t immediately effect them or their immediate family, then it can’t be of note. Nothing is worse than a boring person who cannot stop but talk about themselves, or always manages to circle the conversation back around to their views and opinion.
2. They never expand their personal horizons
Boring people always stay stuck in their ‘hinterlands’ – their own personal, psychological and physical boundaries. They never try anything new, or adventurous, or potentially amazing for fear of failing somehow or for finding that they don’t like the aim of their experiment. It never occurs to a boring person that they would connect more with different people and different experiences and improve their quality of life by expanding their horizons.
3. They cannot tell a good joke
Yawn. There’s a reason boring people are never called upon as the jokers and the fun-makers of any office party or social setting. Boring people just cannot tell a good joke to save their lives, largely because they don’t engage themselves in any situations that allow them to experience something fun. They spend too much time in the same old routines, with the same old stuff day in day out. When the greatest joke you have in your arsenal is something you pulled out of your cracker last Christmas, then you need to revise your priorities to avoid becoming one of the boring people.
4. They never practise or use empathy
Boring people are pretty bad on the empathy scale, always failing to see things from someone else’s point of view. Oh, they might well understand that someone else has a different point of view, but in terms of actually stepping inside someone else’s shoes and feeling… well, anything, boring people have their work cut out for them. For them, their world begins and ends at their front door and office, ensuring that the chance to go out and experience a modicum of empathy for anyone else is sadly, low at best.
5. They never have a real opinion on anything
Yes, boring people can’t express a real opinion on anything. They have no real passions or loves in their lives, and, as the sign of a life well and truly being ruined, they spend no time in getting informed about anything of real worth. The events of the world pass them by completely, and this is of no consequence to the boring individual.
6. They stay in the exact same routine every day
The same routine, day in day out. Is there anything more depressing? Well, for the boring person, they never consider to try something new or expand their horizons. They wake up at the same time every day, eat the same stuff, do the same stuff, and just never want to change anything, even down to having something different for breakfast that day.
7. They never do anything fun in their lives
Not that this going without saying, but boring people just never have any fun. They never explore what truly makes them happy and what makes them tick – therefore they spend all time either working or doing stuff that they don’t enjoy doing. They never consider that life is supposed to be fun and full of enjoyment, and instead put it off in lieu of working non-stop. Boring people never stop to smell the flowers, and that’s truly sad more than anything.
8. They complain about their lives
Boring people never, ever stop complaining about their lives, and how everything seems to be going wrong for them. Boring people never consider how things might be for other people listening, and how lucky they may actually be, especially when compared to other people who are enduring worse and yet remain upbeat, positive and engaged in life to the fullest. The popular social media trend ‘first world problems’ seems to come to mind here.
9. They cannot tell a good story
Is there anything worse than boring people telling stories? Well, in a social setting no, because boring people have no real concept of what kind of story is fascinating and brilliant and hilarious, and what kind of story and manner of storyteling makes watching paint dry seem like a rollercoaster ride. Boring people never consider what they’re saying and how it will affect other people on an emotional level, particularly in terms of enjoyment.
10. They never express passion for anything
Boring people just never explore their own passions or desires, and so are left unfulfilled. Imagine if they’d got a chance to actually do some introspection and discover tastes, passions, and loves that they might as well possess. Boring people are stuck in the conventions of widespread, mainstream society, and never delve into what is different and unusual and unique, in order to cultivate their happiness.
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
Tuesday, 9 September 2014
We love our smartphones. Staying in touch and staying updated about everything under the sun had never been this easy! But you will be a fool to think that smartphones come only with advantages!
These are some of the most annoying things people (count yourself in) do with their smartphones:
1. No matter where they are and what they do, they will click selfies. They will click photos with their family, their pets, their friends, the friends' pets, the commode, so on and so forth.
2. Well, if selfies weren't enough, peeps also like to capture their food-moments! Wonder if they’ll start clicking their poop once the #instafood fever is over.
3. Some people click everything. ANYTHING!
4. Those people who text while walking, having no clue of their surroundings, should all fall in a pit. And then someone should shoot that.
5. The worse are those who can’t stop playing games even when they have company. They NEED to beat their own high score. Because, duh! Their life depends on it.
6. Even if we're middle of something exciting, like plotting someone's murder or planning a trip to Mars, we excuse ourselves to check a message from our smartphone.
7. Google does come handy every now and then, but when you cross-check EVERYTHING your friends says with Google, it's annoying.
8. To some, their smartphone is an extension their arm. Being without a one becomes a disability.
9. The anxiety of their battery running out, turns them into a loudspeaker. They freakishly ask EVERYONE around if they have a charger.
10. Some people have a solution to every problem life puts them in, and some have an app for it. Communication, gaming and dating. You name the activity and these guys will know exactly which app to use!
11. Even if the phone hasn't buzzed, we compulsively keep checking for notifications.
12. Logic says, we should keep our phones on silent at certain spots. But logic is illogical to most people. In classrooms, meetings, movie theatres... it's unusual not to hear a loud obnoxious ringtone at least once.
Monday, 1 September 2014
There comes a time in everyone’s life, when, for different reasons it’s necessary to let things go. If only because they’re too heavy to carry around for ever. Here are a few ways that might help you take your life to the next level.
1. Don’t take mistakes personally, use them as a guide. Each new day brings an opportunity for something different to unfold, you don’t need to carry your mistakes with you. Remember, you are not your mistakes.
2. Life will give you mighty rewards along with the problems it brings. How you deal with those problems determines the reward.
3. As you connect with others, take the time to remind them of their brilliance, their strength, their value to the world. Maybe they’ll take the time to do the same for someone else.
4. Be honest. Are your actions and habits in sync with the vision you have for your life? Don’t wait for years before acknowledging you need a change in habit.
5. Don’t let anyone or anything take away your peace. Some people are a great drain on your energy and some issues take a while to be resolved. Avoid those who drain you and manage the difficult events always in faith that both issues can be converted into a better reality.
6. Sustained concentration of thought and action is usually the magical key to success. Maybe, just maybe, all you need do to experience greater fulfillment and joy in life is to keep your thoughts more focused on what you want.
7. You can’t change everything at once. Don’t waste your time and energy. Choose one thing at a time to give your attention to and meanwhile, cherish the life you’re living.
8. Don’t try and climb the mountain before you reach it. Focus on where you are right now, while you prepare yourself. No mountain is conquered without support, be willing to ask for help when you need it.
9. Resisting feelings that feel bad won’t make them go away. You won’t change bad feelings by waging war on them, simply allow them to flow through you and replace them with something that feels better, something that feels more like love than fear.
10. If your relationships aren’t so hot right now, look for things you can love and appreciate in others. Love is an incredible force, it can dissolve difficulties, challenges and negativity.
11. Recognize why you want to do something. This gives you a clue as to how to do it. Knowing why brings greater clarity on how you’re going to get it done. And if you get stuck go back to your original purpose. The why. It never leads you astray.
12. Silence isn’t always golden. People need to know you care, speak up. People need know when something doesn’t feel good to you, speak up. Silence often has a way of turning into resentment or disease.
13. You can’t hire someone to go to the gym for you and tone your muscles. You can’t get someone else to meditate on your behalf so you can become enlightened. Some things in life require your participation. Choose the things that really matter and do them.
14. They say we always hurt the ones we love. Don’t take your loved ones for granted. Never be too busy to give them the aspects of love that matter: appreciation, acceptance, and attention. Add kindness and consideration to love and you have a recipe for happy, healthy relationships.
15. Don’t make choices and then spend the rest of the time complaining. If the choice you made doesn’t work, choose again. Sometimes it’s a choice between two things, neither of which are perfect. The time you waste complaining today isn’t going to make tomorrow any better.
16. Every now and then make a decision that’s far beyond your current capacity to reach. If you don’t let the idea go, you’ll often find it comes to pass without you ever understanding how.
17. It’s no surprise that we don’t get what we want when the number of ‘no I can’t’ outnumber our ‘yes I can do it’, a thousand to one. Repetition is a convincing argument. It’s time to remind yourself on a daily basis of what you can accomplish. You are always becoming the living result of your inner speech.
18. Stop settling for life being a little bit better. You’ve been put on this planet to live your greatest life, be your most fearless self. Live on purpose, not by default
Thursday, 14 August 2014
Let’s be honest – we’ve all acted in toxic, damaging ways at one time or another. None of us are immune to occasional toxic mood swings, but many people are more evolved, balanced and aware, and such occurrences happen only rarely in their lives.
Whether your toxic behavior is a common occurrence, or just a once in a blue moon phenomena, it’s critical for your long-term happiness and success that you are able to recognize when you’re behaving negatively, and consciously shift your mindset when necessary.
The twelve most common toxic behaviors we see are:
Being envious of everyone else. – Don’t let envy (or jealously) get the best of you. Envy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. There is nothing attractive or admirable about this behavior. So stop comparing your journey with everyone else’s. Your journey is YOUR journey, NOT a competition. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. If you want to measure your progress, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Taking everything too personally. – People are toxic to be around when they believe that everything happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them. The truth is that what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds and experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re the worst, again, is more about them. It's not that we should be narcissists and ignore all feedback. So much hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from our taking things personally. In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinion of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
Acting like you’re always a victim. – Another toxic behavior is persistent complaining that fuels your sense of victimization. Believing you’re a victim, that you have no power to exert and no power over the direction of your life, is a toxic stance that keeps you stuck. When you stop complaining, and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll find that you are more powerful than you realized, but only if you choose to accept this reality.
Hoarding pain and loss. – One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go. But oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic thoughts from the past. You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you. Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.
Obsessive negative thinking. – It’s very hard to be around people who refuse to let go of negativity – when they ruminate and speak incessantly about the terrible things that could happen and have happened, the scorns they’ve suffered, and the unfairness of life. These people stubbornly refuse to see the positive side of life and the positive lessons from what’s happening. Pessimism is one thing – but remaining perpetually locked in a negative mindset is another. Only seeing the negative, and operating from a view that everything is negative and against you, is a twisted way of thinking and living, and you can change that.
Lack of emotional self-control. – An inability to manage your emotions is toxic to everyone around you. We all know these people – those who explode in anger and tears over the smallest hiccup or problem. Yelling at the grocery store clerk for the long line, screaming at an employee for a small error she made, or losing it with your daughter for spilling juice on the floor. If you find that you’re overly emotional, losing your cool at every turn, you may need some outside assistance to help you gain control over your emotions and understand what’s at the root of your inner angst. There’s more to it than what appears on the surface. An independent perspective – and a new kind of support – can work wonders.
Making superficial judgments about others. – Don’t always judge a person by what they show you. Remember, what you’ve seen is oftentimes only what that person has chosen to show you, or what they were driven to show based on their inner stress and pain. Alas, when another person tries to make you suffer in some small way, it is usually because they suffer deep within themselves. Their suffering is simply spilling over. They do not need punishment or ridicule, they need help. If you can’t help them, let them be.
Cruelty (or lacking empathy and compassion). – One of the most toxic behaviors – cruelty – stems from a total lack of empathy, concern or compassion for others. We see it every day online and in the media – people being devastatingly unkind and hurtful to others just because they can. They tear people down online in a cowardly way, using their anonymity as a shield. Cruelty, backstabbing, and hurting others for any reason is toxic, and it hurts you as well. If you find yourself backstabbing and tearing someone else down, stop in your tracks. Dig deep and find compassion in your heart, and realize that we’re all in this together.
Cheating and cutting moral corners simply because you can. – Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and not an excuse! If you decide to cheat, and you succeed in cheating someone out of something, don’t think that this person is a fool. Realize that this person trusted you much more than you ever deserved. Be bigger than that. Don’t do immoral things simply because you can. Don’t cheat. Be honest with yourself and everyone else. Do the right thing. Integrity is the essence of everything successful.
Hiding your truth. – People cannot connect with you if you’re constantly trying to hide from yourself. And this becomes a truly toxic situation the minute they become attached to your false persona. So remember, no matter what age, race, sex, or sexuality you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being – each and every one of us are. We each have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in. But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are. Don’t deny yourself.
Needing constant validation. – People who constantly strive for validation by others are exhausting to be around. Those men and women who get caught up in the need to prove their worth over and over and over, and constantly want to win over everyone around them, are unintentionally toxic and draining. Know this. Over-attaching to how things have to look to others can wear you out and bring everyone else around you down. There is a bigger picture to your life, and it’s not about what you achieve in the eyes of the masses. It’s about the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself to participate in.
Being a stubborn perfectionist. – As human beings, we often chase hypothetical, static states of perfection. We do so when we are searching for the perfect house, job, friend or lover. The problem, of course, is that perfection doesn’t exist in a static state. Because life is a continual journey, constantly evolving and changing. What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow – that perfect house, job, friend or lover will eventually fade to a state of imperfection. But with a little patience and an open mind, over time, that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home. That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career. That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on. And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion. It’s just a matter of letting perfectionism GO.
The floor is yours…
If you can relate to any of these toxic behaviors, remember, you are not alone. We all have unhealthy personalities buried deep within us that have the potential to sneak up on us sometimes. As stated above, the key is awareness – recognizing these behaviors and stopping them in their tracks.