Building Self Confidence

Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop second-guessing yourself, manage your fears and become able to do more of the things that really matter to you.

But not many people realise that their self-confidence works just like a muscle – it grows in response to the level of performance required of it.  Either you use it or you lose it. Here are ways to grow your confidence so that you can become a giant.

1. Learning is a good thing, so sign up for that evening class and enjoy it.
2. Get out of your own head by asking your partner or best friend what you can do for them today.
3. Hit the gym.  The physiological effects will leave you feeling great.
4. Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful to other people rather than being nervous about your own stuff.
5. Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.  If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.
6. Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimise or diminish each one.
7. Look at a great win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it.  Recognising your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.
8. Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
9. Next time you talk yourself out of doing something (a party invite, a challenging project or whatever else), say "What The Hell" and go do it anyway.
10. Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the inside or on the outside).
11. You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room in your life.
12. Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
13. Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want.
14. Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
15. Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself and look for a way that that inner dialog can be improved.  Ask yourself, “What would make this easier?”
16. Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.  There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.  Look for the things you do where the question of whether you’re confident enough never arises.
17. Listen to your doubts but be ready to make deliberate decisions once you’ve heard them.  Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
18. Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position and you were firing on all cylinders.  What were you doing and what’s the reason it felt so great?
19. You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do.  These rules limit your thinking and limit your behaviour.  Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
20. Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped back form an opportunity?  Don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse.  Instead, be brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on.  Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?
21. If you’d already done everything in life you’d have no need to be scared.  Don’t ever think that being scared means you’re not confident, it simply means you’re going somewhere new.
22. If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on.  You deserve better.
23. Flirt.  It’s a harmless way to play around with connecting with people and having fun.
24. Reveal a little bit of the real you in a relationship that might feel like it’s in a rut.
25. Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.  It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.
26. Always recognise that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in, no matter how tough the going gets.
27. Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life.
28. Don’t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it often means you’re selling yourself short.
29. When you feel like stamping your foot and yelling “I deserve better than this!”, take a step back and say “I can BE better than this.”
30. Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hands up and change your mind.
31. Trust your instincts.  They know what they’re talking about.
32. Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence.  That’s a good thing, so use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.
33. Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive and vibrant version of you from the future, a version of you who’s everything you hope to be.  What do they want to tell you?
34. Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself – sometimes the most confident thing to do is ask for help.
35. Take a chance on something tomorrow.  Anything, big or small, just take a chance.
36. You need to be around people who make you feel like YOU, so spend more time with the people who support and encourage you and less with those who undermine you.
37. Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your life – create a congruent environment around you that flows and allows you to be you.
38. No man’s an island, and you need to be a part of the world you around to feel confident.  What can you participate in that’s important to you?
39. Forget the pro’s and con’s – do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
40. Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you.  What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?
41. The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
42. Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic begins.
43. Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are.
44. Put your head above the parapet at work and speak up if there’s something you think could be improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.
45. If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it.  Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.
46. Shy with new people?  Not a problem, there’s nothing wrong with being shy and it doesn’t mean you’re not confident.  Just don’t overthink it, start beating yourself up or thinking you’re less than because you’re shy – the more you think like that the worse it gets.
47. Your environment directly impacts your self-perception, so if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork and rubbish put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organised.
48. Write yourself a list of the amazing things you’d love to do in your life, and make a start by simply looking into the first one or two things that leap out at you.
49. Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else.  Find your inherent value first, and your relationships and confidence will be immeasurably better.
50. Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses.  We all have weaknesses but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.
51. The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list the more it’ll drain you and the bigger it’ll seem – get it done and free yourself up.
52. What golden threads, themes, patterns and passions have always been in your life?  If those things aren’t present in your life right now, you need to shift your priorities.
53. Your body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body you won’t be feeling confident in yourself.  Get trim if you need to, just make sure you get along with your body.
54. Being confident is an ongoing process.  It isn’t a goal or an end-point that you reach and then stop.  Keep playing to the best of your ability and your confidence will always be there to support you.
55. Try a new path.  The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection.  A new path wakes you up.
56. Don’t say “Yes” to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat – you can politely decline requests you can’t meet and don’t need to create an excuse for it.
57. Look at the people you respect who seem confident – don’t copy them, but identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.
58. Make a plan to do something, then make deliberate choices to follow through.  Seeing progress gives you important self-reinforcement.
59. When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralysed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.
60. Still beating yourself up for failing or screwing up? It might not be a barrel of laughs but it’s not going to help you get through it.  Much better to recognise that everything, whether it turns out or not, is how you practice living a rich life.

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What To Say and What Not To Say

Are you aware just how much impact the words you use on a daily basis have on your mood and your life in general? Have you noticed the type of language you use? Not just verbally, but within your inner thoughts as well?

Language is a very powerful tool when it comes to mood control—both for ourselves and for those around us. It really can make the difference between a happy day and a stressful day, and below are  some examples at to why this is.

As with many things, the first step is awareness; most people are blissfully unaware of how they speak, both internally and externally, so make a start by paying extra attention to what you’re saying both mentally, and aloud. Consider whether you’re using positive language or negative language. Are you really aware of exactly what you’re saying and how you’re phrasing your words?

There are a few common phrases that people use without realizing just how negative they are. And when we think negatively, guess what? The negative thoughts spiral into negative actions, which then tun into real-life situations and problems. If we can nip those negative thoughts in the bud, we can save ourselves a whole lot of pain in the long run.

Here are some useless phrases to leave behind, and some useful phrases to start saying so you can start using language to your advantage!

Things to Start Saying

1. “YES!”

Making a conscious decision to say “yes” to more things is one of his secrets for success. Next time your natural instinct is to say no, try saying yes instead. Open your mind to a whole new world of possibilities and watch as your life suddenly becomes much more interesting.

2. “I’m lucky / grateful…”

It’s been proven that gratitude can relieve symptoms of depression and unhappiness. Before you go to sleep, remind yourself of 3 things each day that you're grateful for, or lucky to have in your life. This is a nice way to go to bed with positive thoughts instead of being kept awake by worries or fears.

3. “I Will.”

This is a great replacement for “I’ll try”. Consider for a moment how much more powerful the words “I will” are, compared to “I’ll try”. By saying “I will”, you’re really committing to something and your goals suddenly feel possible. Don’t worry too much about whether you actually reach the goals or not—this is about you setting yourself up for success, not failure.

4. “What if?”

This is a great alternative to words like “never” or “impossible”. Instead of limiting us, the phrase “what if?” creates possibility. It encourages solution-oriented thinking, which helps us to solve problems. The next time you feel as though a situation is hopeless, try asking yourself “what if?” and see what solutions pop up.

5. Positive Greetings such as “I’m well.”

Instead of saying “not bad” or “could be worse” when someone asks you how you are, try a simple “I’m well, thank you” instead. Alternately, if you’re not having a great day, be honest but with a positive spin—“I’m not having the best day but I’m sure tomorrow will be better.”

6. Positive instructions such as “Remember to…”

If I said to you “Don’t think about a pink elephant” right now what did you just think of?  A pink elephant, right? So we’re actually thinking about the very thing we want to avoid. This can be really dangerous when we use instructions such as “don’t forget to pay the bills today” because all our brain hears is “forget to pay the bills!” If we flip our language so it’s positive, however, we get much better results. If you want to remember something, then tell yourself just that, instead of what you don’t want to do.

7. “Things could be worse…”

The next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, try re-framing your problem by comparing it to something worse. This is a great way to minimize the size of your problems. When we put things into context, we can gain perspective and suddenly our problems don’t feel as bad.

Things to Avoid Saying

1. “I can’t…”

“Can’t” is a debilitating word that puts up a barrier between you and your goals—it’s like you’ve almost failed before you’ve begun. Someone very wise once said that there’s no such word as “can’t”. That’s a great way to look at things; give yourself a chance for success by ditching the word completely.

2. “I’ll try”

Have you ever “tried” to stand up. Try it now. Try to stand up. Did you do it? No, because it’s not possible to “try” and do something. When we say “I’ll try”, what we’re really saying is that we’re not ready to commit. As Yoda from Star Wars once said: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

3. “I wish I didn’t have to…”

Otherwise known as moaning. No one likes to listen to someone groan on, and plus, it’s pointless to do so. If you don’t like something, then take action and change your situation. Otherwise, you might as well get on with life with a smile on your face!

4. “I should…”

The word “should” is inherently negative. “Should” implies a lose: lose situation and it’s just not conducive to positive outcomes in life. It’s a form of criticism, and it’s best left out of your everyday language. Instead of beating yourself up for what you should have done, focus on what you have the power to change.

5. “I need…”

How often do you proclaim a “need” for something, versus how often you genuinely need it? The word “need” creates an unhealthy dependency. The next time you hear yourself say this, have a re-think to determine if you really need what you’re talking about. If you don’t, then let go and minimize any negativity.

6. Pessimistic greetings like “Not bad” or “could be worse.”

You hear this all the time! So many people feel the need to buy into these common phrases without even thinking about what they are saying. They are so negative! Why not say something positive, or at least be honest? (There’s nothing worse than saying you’re “great” all the time if that’s not how you really feel.)

7. “Never.”

The word “never” creates immediate restrictions on your life, and when we say that word, it’s very rarely an accurate reflection of the choices that are available to us. It closes our mind to solutions and creates unnecessary limits. Decide today to never say never again!

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How To Be Irresistibly Attractive

Be true to your values.  Be honest.  Do your best.  Do things that bring you closer to your dreams.  Take care of yourself, your family, and your friends.  Treat people with respect.  Be the person that makes others feel special.  Be known for your kindness and honesty.

In other words, invest love into your life.  Because when you love life, life will love you back.  And there’s no attraction greater than love.  People will notice the goodness surrounding you, and they will be naturally attracted to you.

1. Do the right thing. – Never be afraid to do what you know in your heart is right, especially if the well being of another person’s feelings is at stake. There is no punishment in the world more severe than the wounds we inflict on our soul when we do what we know is wrong.
2. Stop the gossip and superficial judgments. – Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds gossip about people.  Life is much too short to be lived talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up trouble that has no substance.  If you don’t understand someone, ask questions.  If you don’t agree with them, tell them.  But don’t judge them behind their back to everyone else. 
3. Lift others up. – If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up.  To be happy and free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the happiness and freedom of others.  When you put faith, hope, and love together, you can nurture positive ideas, relationships, and dreams in a negative world.
4. Give words of encouragement to those in need. – A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.  We all hit a time when we lose hope and need someone to put their arms around us and say, “I’ve got you right now.  You are not facing this alone.”  Be that person when you can.
5. Be positive. – Think positively; speak properly; apologize rapidly; forgive quickly.  Evolve your being and inspire yourself and others.  Say it out loud, “I am sorry negativity, I have no time for you.  I have far too many positive things to do.”
6. Embrace your uniqueness. – If you don’t embrace your uniqueness, you will spend your entire life striving to conform to the impossibility of being someone else.  By celebrating what makes you different, rather than wasting time trying to be the same, you will discover your unique gifts that nobody else in the world has.
7. Do things for fun and passion. – When you stop doing things for fun and passion, you stop living and you start merely existing.  If you truly want to change your life, you must first change your mind and your actions.  Once you are ready to truly devote your time and energy to what calls to your soul, you will find your life unimaginably enriched. 
8. Be gentle. – When you least expect it, something great will come along – something better than you ever planned for.  Mother Nature opens millions of flowers every day without forcing the buds.  Let this be a reminder not to force anything, but to simply give beautiful things enough love and an opportunity to grow naturally.
9. Drop the need to always be right. – Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.  There are many roads to,what's right.  You cannot judge others by your own past.  They are living a different life than you.  Express your opinions freely and politely, remembering that if your purpose is to ridicule or prove others are wrong, it will only bring bitterness into the world.  Respecting the opinion of others, without judging, always carries more weight than simply being right.
10. Be loyal.  Be honest. – You can’t promise to love someone for the rest of their life, but you can sincerely love them for the rest of yours.  When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority.  Loyalty and honest affection mean everything.
11. Be flexible and keep an open mind. – What looks like an obstacle or road block is oftentimes just life steering you in a better direction.  Be flexible and keep an open mind to all the changes that are forcing you to grow, and helping you better align yourself with your vibration and purpose.
12. Believe in yourself and all that you are. – Know in your heart that there is strength inside you that is greater than the challenges you face.  No one can do it for you – you have to choose to use your wings.
13. Believe in your dreams. – Who you hope to be someday is already a big part of who you are now.  Your dreams are real.  They do not exist in the past; they live in the present, and when you stay committed to doing what needs to be done, you carry them closer to reality as you walk through the gates of tomorrow.
14. Walk the talk. – You can make whatever you want out of your life, but first you have to not be afraid to try.  We all have to start with ourselves.  It is time to walk the talk.  Take the journey of making the difficult decisions and taking action.  Start removing things from your life that are taking away your happiness, and start adding things that bring joy in to your life.  
15. Embrace the possibilities of tomorrow. – Don’t let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become.  No regrets.  No looking back.  Just hold onto life and move forward.  We have no way of knowing what lies ahead, but that’s what makes the journey even more exciting – that’s what makes life worth living.

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Reasons You Are Not Moving Forward In Life

Life is change; it is forever moving.  Staying stuck is a choice.

For it is a choice, not a chance, that determines your destiny.  The road may be long, but it’s wide open.  As Lao Tzu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”  If you don’t like the way your life is at the moment, you have the choice to change it.  Actually, you owe it to yourself to change it.  But you can only shift your current situation one small step at a time.

In other words, to get through even the most difficult times and circumstances you need to take baby steps, and you must keep on stepping.

So if you feel stuck right now, it means you aren’t stepping.  And it’s probably because…

1. You haven’t taken responsibility for your circumstances. – Too many people have a habit of blaming their circumstances or mistakes on bad fate or bad luck.  Too few will admit that their situation is a direct outcome of the choices they’ve made.  In life, this is the foundation you need to correct in order to grow.  You must accept your current situation, take responsibility for it, learn from it, make the necessary changes, and move forward.  
2. You’ve given in to your fears. – If you’re doing big things and pushing for your dreams, you are bound to encounter situations that scare you and make you feel uncomfortable.  So what.  Move forward with gusto.  Remember that the extent to which we sometimes allow fear to rule our lives is truly startling and unnecessary.  Especially when you consider one very important fact about fear: It’s a total figment of your imagination.
3. You continue to ignore your calling. – What you seek, whether you realize it or not, is the actual feeling of being ALIVE and living your life your own way.  You don’t have to satisfy everyone else.  You just have to find something to believe in – something that anchors you and keeps you looking forward, regardless of what others are doing or saying.  For it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.
4. You’ve become accustomed to negativity. – It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.  The biggest wall you must climb is the one you have built in your mind.  If you don’t control your attitude, then it will control you.  Negative feelings are like weeds; if you don’t fully extract their roots, they will keep coming back.  So take control of your destiny.  Believe in yourself.  Ignore those who try to discourage you.  Avoid negative people, places, things, and habits.  Don’t give up, and don’t give in to consuming the garbage these negative sources are trying to feed you.  
5. You don’t appreciate what you have. – Pause for a moment.  Breathe in slowly and deeply.  Exhale.  Feel the miracle of your breath.  And say, “Thank you.”  You probably woke up with a few aches and pains this morning, but you woke up.  You’ve seen better days, but you’ve also seen worse.  You might not have everything you want right now, but you have everything you need to move forward.  Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is good.
6. You keep worrying about a time that no longer exists. – You can’t have a better today if you’re still thinking and worrying about yesterday.  Whatever could have been or should have been, doesn’t matter.  This moment is here and now for you to live.  It’s okay to not have all the answers yet.  In fact, you’ll never have ALL the answers.  Just continue the journey, focus on the present, do you best, and trust the process.
7. You keep looking for happiness outside yourself. – Enlightenment is not the accumulation of knowledge; it is the full realization of who you already are.  True wealth has nothing to do with material possessions; it is the surrender to an abundance that has no limit.  What you seek is not somewhere else at some other time; what you seek is here and now, within you.  The more you look for it outside yourself, the more it hides from you.  Relax, remember the source of your deepest desires, and allow yourself to know their fulfillment.
8. You’re still looking for the easy road. – Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you.  And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary success.  Every struggle arises for a reason – for experience or a lesson.  A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.  
9. You need to let go and move on. – Sometimes being strong and moving on are the only choices you have.  There are some things in life that you may never completely get over.  The best you may be able to do is get through them slowly.  But that’s okay.  The struggle forward is worth the effort.  There’s still a lot of beauty left to be seen on the road ahead.

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Reasons For Living

What’s most important is to remember that, regardless of our specific situation, there’s always hope to be found.  While we’re alive there’s always something meaningful left to experience and appreciate.  Here are some thoughts on what we all still have to live for…

1.  The power of now.

Every moment is equally special.  Every moment is a gift. Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death.  Your life is between now and your next breath.  The present moment is all the life there ever is.

Your entire lifespan is simply composed of ‘right nows.’  The best is not in front of you or behind you.  It’s within you always in each moment. So the challenge is this:  Open your eyes.  Wake up.  Be attentive.  Appreciate this moment for what it is.  Regard the present as another chance to enjoy the sights, sounds, smells and sensations life has to offer.  Enjoy the big things that we often mistake as little things. 

2.  Your ability to learn something new.

Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever.”  What this means  in the simplest of terms:  Every day is a gift, and the gift is learning.

Be a student of life.  Indulge in it, learn from it and absorb all the knowledge you can.  The purpose of your life is to live it in full, to experience it to the utmost, to reach out with an open mind for the newest and richest experience being offered at the time.

3.  Knowing you gave it your best shot.

Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of leaving the rest of your life unlived.  You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live passionately right now while you have a chance.  Keep in mind that life hasn’t afforded everyone this chance.  You have been gifted a priceless opportunity.

Forget about how you thought things were supposed to be.  Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself.  Time passes one way or the other.  Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot.”  

4.  The wisdom and strength you have within you.

Human beings don’t become wise by reading books – they become educated.  Living out experiences firsthand in the real world, one day at a time, is what gives birth to wisdom.  Ultimately wisdom is what you get when you test out the waters for yourself.  This kind of life experience is the most valuable asset you own.

Sometimes on the road to acquiring wisdom life will beat you down, but you have to stand back up.  Because nothing is more beautiful and powerful than a soul who has weather and grown through life’s difficulties.  Don’t regret your time, even the moments that were filled with hurt.  Smile because you learned from it all and because you gained enough strength to rise above it all.

In the end, it’s not what you have been through that matters; it’s how you got through it that defines your life and your legacy.

5.  The positive difference you can make.

Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you know there are so many others out there who feel like they have nothing at all.  You always have the ability to be kind, and kindness really does make the world a better place.

Smile at people who look like they’re having a rough day.  Give them a hand if you’re able.  Kindness is the only investment that never fails, and wherever there’s another human being there’s an opportunity for kindness. As a bonus, when you’re kind to others and bring happiness into their lives, you will not be able to keep it from yourself either.  

6.  You are worthy.

The greatest thinking trap is self-rejection.  When you begin to believe the negative voices in your head that sometimes call you worthless, then the thought of leaving this world can seem like an attractive option.  What you need to realize is: these negative voices are lies.

As soon as someone accuses you or criticizes you, as soon as you are rejected, left alone, or abandoned for a short time, you might find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.”  What you need to realize is, these other people are NOT worthy of YOU.

Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of emotional growth because it contradicts the sacred inner voice that calls you “worthy.”  And being worthy constitutes the core truth of every human existence.

Say it out loud if you have to:  “This is my journey, and I am worthy of the trip.”

Closing thoughts.

As Hemingway so profoundly said, “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

You may feel discouraged.  You may feel upset.  You may feel too old.  You may be sick.  You may be divorced.  You may be unemployed. You may be financially strapped.  You may be…  etc.

But you’re not dead – YOU ARE ALIVE.  Your journey is not over.

NO matter what, this simple fact alone is proof that you still have something meaningful to achieve.

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Why Your Brain Need A Break

Working more than 48 hours a week doubles the load of stress, a fact that puts many people at risk of heart disease and mental illness. Still, more and more people say that they get a lot of stress from work, despite the holiday privileges provided to them by their managers and employers.  

It’s because most of them choose to carry their work and ‘work mentality’ to their holiday. While enjoying the refreshing breeze at the beach, some people can’t help but think of the unfinished paperwork in the office. Good thing they brought with them their laptops – hence, they can check important email updates and continue making the presentation while sipping some beer and eating barbecue. This happens for the entire holiday period until it’s time to get back to work.

Why your brain needs to rest

But even though procrastination may seem like a waste of time, you still need it to recharge your batteries. You need quality relaxation to relieve the stress and put your brain at rest, because just like your body, it also gets tired.

So you wouldn’t feel ‘guilty’ for having taken a day off from work, here are the five top reasons why you should give yourself a break:

 ·         The best ideas are formed in a relaxed state of mind. This is probably the reason why many people experience the ‘aha’ moments in the shower, or while they are lying on bed. If you are stressed and all, you are less likely to think of greater ideas. But when you are in a relaxed state, your brain has an active dopamine system, the region associated with the formation of creative ideas.

·         When you’re relaxed, your brain becomes more resilient. Just like your muscles, your brain needs to take a break and recover from stress, or else, it’ll get worn out. Meditation, yoga and deep breathing are some of the most effective ways to let your mind rest.

·         Holiday recharges your batteries. Too much stress can take a toll on your health and lead you to depression, heart disease, obesity, digestive problems, and other chronic diseases. Taking time to unwind and recharge your batteries can greatly improve your immune system and protect you from different illnesses.

·         Relaxation improves your brain health. After facing the computer for many hours, make sure to stop working for a while and give your brain a few moments to recharge. The effects of stress is cumulative – the more stressed you are, the more damage it can cause your brain. Poor concentration and low energy levels are signs that your brain is under serious stress.

·         Relaxation gives your brain more time to process information. When your mind is at rest, your brain becomes more able to process information and convert them into permanent, long-term memories.

Simple strategies to relax your mind:

When a week-long holiday appears to be very impossible, there are simple strategies you can do at home or in the office that can significantly reduce the strain in your brain and make you feel incredibly relaxed.

Start with your diet. There are some foods that can soothe your mind and bolster your energy levels, such as water, herbal tea, fruits and vegetables. Chocolates can have a relaxing effect too, as long as you keep your consumption on moderate amounts.  Aromatherapy can help as well. The sweet scent of lavender can make you feel calm in mind and body.

Practising mindfulness meditation is another way to recharge your mind. According to research, meditation stimulates physical changes in the brain that promote memory and cognition. Other ways relax your mind are moderate exercising, nature tripping, listening to good music, and spending quality time with friends or family

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The Art of Being Cheerful

Not every day is a good day. Pressure at work, relationship issues and personal conflicts can all take a toll on your health overtime. But with the right mind-set, you can manage to stay happy amidst all the stresses of life!

1.  Dress up.
A study suggests that people with higher self-esteem spend more time getting ready in the morning. Another research published in the Journal of Aesthetic Dentistry found that altering physical trait for the better improves self-esteem, personality and attitude. Buy yourself a beautiful dress or suit, visit the derma once in a while and pamper yourself!

2.  Smile (even if you don’t mean it).
It is true that only genuine happiness uplifts your well-being. But smiling, even if you don’t have a reason to, can lead you to a better, brighter feeling. If you frown, people will think you are miserable and will get away from you. But if you keep smiling, you can change their perception, and attract as many people as you want!

3.  Free your mind.
Stuffing a lot of things in your mind can stress you out. While the brain is very good at processing complex thoughts and ideas, you really don’t want to push it to its limit. Instead of putting them all in your head, write down your to-do list, or encode it on your iPad or mobile phone. This way, you can forget about the unfinished tasks for a moment and focus your attention to one activity at a time.

4.  Start your day with water.
Did you know that right before you get up from bed, your body is already dehydrated? Make it a habit to drink a full glass of water in the morning. Reducing your hydration level by 1% from the optimal level can already increase your negative thoughts, affect your concentration, and make you feel more fatigued – a study in the Journal of Nutrition suggests.

5.  Write down the good things.
Before going to sleep, get your journal and write down all the good things that happened during the day. According to scientists, people tend to remember bad memories more than the good ones that sometimes, they almost overlooked all the things they should be thankful of. Whether it’s the beautiful flower you saw this morning in your neighbour’s yard, the cute little pup that made you smile, or the old couple in the bus that inspired you – all positive things worth a space in your journal.

6.  Hugs and kisses will do!
While oxytocin, also called the “love” hormone, is usually generated during sexual intercourse, studies reveal that it is also present when people do other forms of physical contact such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands. So if you feel low, hug your partner, your friend or your pet and experience the magic!

7.  Give to receive.
Donate to a charity, share your meal with a stranger, and help an old lady cross the road. Did you know that giving stimulates the same part of the brain that is active when you engage in pleasurable activities like sex and eating? Doing acts of charity doesn’t just win you more friends but also uplifts your wellbeing.

8.  Get fishy.
Instead of ham or bacon, why not stuff your sandwich with sardines? Research shows that in countries with high fish consumption such as Taiwan and Japan, the rate of depression is 10 times lower than those with low fish consumption, such as the US and UK. Oily fish like sardines, salmon, tuna and mackerel are high in omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D that are effective in busting depression.

9.  Think like a Samurai
Sure, you will learn a lot from books and from life coaches but it is not enough to get you into the action. Trying to develop a motivated mind-set makes you believe that you need to be motivated before you act, which isn’t helpful. You don’t need to feel like you need to do something before you do it. Just do what you got to do!

10.  Don’t skip the bad news.
When reading newspapers, it’s really okay to read the negative news as well. It actually reminds you that there are many people in the world who are in a worse situation than you are. Whenever you feel bad because your food tastes bland, why not think of the people who don’t have any food to eat? Experts call it social-comparison theory. Yes you may feel bad about it, but it will also make you feel a lot better.

11.  Turn on the music.
Stressed out? Turn on the radio, or your music player or iPod. Listening to the music you like can significantly improve your mood.

12.  Get yourself a furry friend.
Did you know that pet owners over 65 make 30% fewer visits to their doctors? Having a pet has a lot of benefits. It lowers down your blood pressure, makes you feel less stressed, and protects you from developing a heart disease.

13.  Build muscles.
Intense exercises stimulate your brain to produce plenty of endorphins (the feel-good chemicals). According to research, just 30 minutes of aerobic exercise three times a week is more powerful than the most effective antidepressants!

14.  Socialise.
In one study published in the journal Cyber psychology, Behaviour and Social Networking, just three minutes on Facebook is enough to shift your negative thoughts to something positive. Creating a social bond with other people is a critical factor in maintaining a high level of wellbeing.

15.  Eat well.
Nourishing your body is the initial step towards nourishing your mind. Make sure you get your 5-a-day portion of fruits and vegetables. They are great sources of antioxidants and nutrients that ease depression and stress.